As I sat there in the quiet of the morning I felt refreshed by the time I was spending with myself and God. It is so easy to get whisked away by the adult experience with its responsibilities, challenges, wins and expectations that by the time you grab the reins to spend time with yourself you hardly recognize you!
I have found that the older I get the more serious and focused my personal deliberations have become. I have over the years become more concerned with my God designed purpose, with growth and maturity, with being a good steward of the blessings I have received, with looking through God's lens when I am faced with challenges (or at the very least trying hard to), with learning what I can from everything and everyone, with being a better me not just for myself but for the people in my life so that these conscious activities might, together, cause me to live life more abundantly.
Yes! I am determined to work on me! I am not going after 'stuff' (position, power, possession, wealth etc), I am focusing my energies on self-development believing that as I mature and as I am refined I will undoubtedly attract the other things I desire because I will be more prepared to receive of them. Many of us spend so much time chasing things and if and when we get them they are short-lived in our hands/lives because we were never equipped to maintain them.
Here are some of my commitments:
(A) To be gentle with myself...I am still growing
Words of Caution
That is no excuse to be a mess or to act crazy
This gives me perspective so that I can learn from mistakes rather than wallow in self-pity
My Creator already knows everything about me and still He loves me; reason to get up and keep going; God has confidence in me!
(B) To break-free from the microwave mentality I sometimes have. I need to simply wait...some things take time and they do for a reason.
It is sad that sometimes we act as though what we want will be best served only if I receive it now and when we don't get it we want to act like we don't want it anymore smh lol
Words of Caution
Being patient is easier when I truly trust in God
My timing isn't perfect because I do not have the complete picture of my life as a frame of reference
God's timing is perfect
Words of Caution
Lack of preparation positions me for failure
If I am not a good steward over little I will never be given a lot no matter how ready I think I am for it
(D) To be better in all the roles I am required to play in life; to become a better christian, wife, parent,
family member, friend, employee, woman etc.
(E) To let go of hurt, loss, pain and disappointment
This is a heavy one for me, so heavy I can hardly write about it.
Ok, God is still working on me here as I continue to deal with the loss of a very close relative (almost 7 years).
I don't know if you are struggling in this general area, but I will share with you what God has told me..."LIVE! You did not die!"
The disappointment, the end of your marriage/relationship etc should not mean the end of your world. There is nothing too hard for God. He says, "Let me heal those opens wounds. I am all you need to live through this and past it...LIVE"
The fact that you are alive means there are other opportunities in your future. Don't feel guilty, you loved hard, you worked hard at your career and the business you never thought would fail and yes you believed they would have had your back because you always had theirs but they didn't...OK OK...STOP! There is better in store for you do not be afraid, don't talk yourself out of your 2nd, 3rd, 4th... chance. "LIVE!"
I don't know what introspection you will do or have done but at the very least you should not just be doing it only on the cusp of the new year but even on your birthday (smile). Truly we should do it more frequently that is if our hearts can handle so many life audits for fear of what we might find (cracking myself up...clears throat...being serious again)
I thank God for another birthday! I show Him my gratitude by maturing and making progress on my journey of life by cooperating with God at work in me so that although I am not perfect I am still better than the person I was the year before.
In every single moment of your life:
Be Bold.
Be the Authentic You.
Walk in God-given Authority.
Live IN Purpose
Blessings for the year ahead!
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Until next time:)
EJ
Sitting here reading your blog through my tears. Thank you for being so transparent and forcing me to look at me. God has allowed me to remain for a reason. Through the failures, disappointments, losses, hurts, etc...I survived! I am still standing, therefore I must stand on the Word of God and stand in total faith knowing I have strength and purpose. Although I may not see the full purpose now, I will be patient and be gentle with myself during the stumbles and falls. Again, thanks!!
ReplyDeleteJournie
Your test is your testimony! Though that may sound cliche Journie it is true! We have to decide if what doesn't kill us will make us stronger and wiser or bitter and despondent. God has already used everything in your life to make your impact in this world unique. God has been using you and He will continue to use you...just keep trusting His wisdom and power. XO Happy New year and many blessings for the year ahead:)
DeleteOk Liz - can you please tell me why you are throwing words at me? Like seriously! Everytime you write a post these days, it is as if you are reading my mind. Please get out of my head (lol). Ok, serious now. I find myself conducting these life audits very often, especially when I see a new season of my life on the horizon (usually after some of those disappointments you mentioned). It is like I use that to assist me in figuring out what God's will is regarding my life and current circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the need to be gentle with myself cause I have the tendency to beat myself up when I am not being the "Miss Perfect" that everyone is expecting me to be. I know my mistakes are part of my growth process, but come on now, I really rather not be making them - lol. I think I have matured over the years and come to the realization that my failures and disappointments are just one aspect of the entire picture called my life. There are lots of blessings and favour in there as well and I have learnt to focus on those. I can always find even one way that I KNOW is God working in my life.
I have indeed come a long way in my journey with God and my spiritual growth and maturity and I thank Him for that too, cause I know that He who has begun a great work in me will see it through to completion.
As humans we are guilty of being very selective at determining when introspection is needed. You raise a valid point about how we are more likely to delve into ourselves to search out weaknesses when we feel we may have 'slipped up'. If we could only conduct the life audits when things are going well too! We often feel as though they are not needed because we feel happy and because we are finding success but just maybe doing them in the season of joy and peace would avert some of the moments of chaos we encounter...because many of those moments we bring on ourselves:)
DeleteI will be praying with you Monique that God will continue to reveal His purpose for your life, after all He took careful consideration when He made you you and He had already considered your limitations and strengths, socialization and intellect etc when He designed your destiny. Be encouraged. He knows your heart and rejoices in a heart that loves Him:)
God's richest blessings for the year ahead!
This is wonderful! its always great to have an opportunity to reflect about life and what role we play in this journey. Stay strong and focused as you always have and Let God work His will in your life. He has plans for you, to prosper and strengthen you. But we have Seek Him First and all shall be granted to you.
ReplyDeleteBlessings.
Peter
Thank you for your words of encouragement, Peter. May God continue to bless and keep you as your journey of this life continues and at all times remember "greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4) Happy new year and all the best for 2013 and beyond.
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